The wedding hall is filled to an extreme with people bustling and jostling in their usually strange ways, the bride and the bridegroom standing on the stage taking pictures with what seems to be a million people that they might or might not know. There are an awful lot of aunties with painted faces and elderly grandmas around the stage who consider it their duty to bombard the newlyweds with advice faster than a waiter firing off a menu at a South Indian restaurant.
The hundreds of chairs placed before the stage, have hundreds of distracted occupants, facing all five directions (one kid sat on an upturned chair). What an acutely bored and idle observer might find in such a situation (as they often do) is that many people have their heads bowed where they sat. Oh no! They were not praying for the future life of the bride and the groom (as they often don’t do) but had their heads stuck in an electronic device called a mobile phone. One might confuse this device as the remote one uses at home to control the TV, except this device seemed to be controlling the human holding it. Indeed, most people looked increasingly stupider by holding it in front of their faces, their DERP face looking even DERPER.
The little humans, er, children, were running around making car noises, when, as a bid to keep them quiet their mothers handed them the mobile phone and so, just like their mothers, their brain cells also became dead. And sure enough, the BRAIN-DEAD zombies seemed to be recruiting. Soon after the children, the teenagers also took out their brain-freezing devices and started taking ‘selfies’, which made me wonder about why they were so excited to see their own stupid faces on their own stupid devices. Now people who had barely talked with each started taking ‘selfies’, and I thought maybe the stupidness of one device was contagious as it was quickly spreading and bringing more people sticking their heads into it.
Everybody was either looking into, talking on or playing with their plastic/metal pieces. Those brave souls, who were courageous enough to start a live conversation with someone were quickly silenced, perhaps even judged as handicapped for not carrying a mobile phone with them. Some were clustered in different corners of the hall, because they could obviously not survive without a few moments of their mobiles’ network range. The sad, depressed souls sat in the middle, mourning the death of their phones’ batteries which couldn’t last until the end of the wedding (probably shunned by the rest).
And thus the wedding was a success: photographed from every angle, smiles where required, songs from every phone imaginable, food that was consumed robotically and celebrations that were feigned. The wedding was attended by a group of brain-dead zombies.